For a boy born in a quiet laid-back village of eastern Nepal, where you could lay down on a boulder for hours, in an unending leisure and observe till the night sky projected millions of stars or till your grandma called you for dinner, Kathmandu was too busy, too big and too noisy. It was a tough transition from a carefree life to a private school that was rigid, routined, and frankly tiring. The school was a training ground– we were trained to believe in what the society wanted us to believe in, while working on the dreams and aspirations of our parents, uncles, aunts or a society at large. Most of us wanted to become doctors and engineers.
This young Sisyphus who was sleeping on a boulder bed counting stars till yesterday started pushing the boulder-like dreams of everyone without having the knowledge of the real Sisyphus. When I think of a mentor, my neurons instantly fire up and give me a face of a specific person that has impacted my life so profoundly that I don’t know what I would have become if I had not met him. I was in college but directionless. I needed help, a mentor, a guide, a navigator. Of course, I did not know I needed one then. As I access my memory lane, and zoom into a classroom of over-stuffed bodies eager to understand philosophy, in the city of temples, let me provide you a couple of seconds to go into your own memory lane and see if you can meet your own mentor. Do you see one? Do you see more than one? None? No worries– you still have time to find one.
Of course, the entry of every great mentor starts with a crisis. My crisis then was that my neurons were not firing up enough to comprehend the complex philosophy of Plato. His ‘Allegory of the Cave’ was too tough for a student whose English was not the first language. Me and my friends could not dissect the meaning of Plato’s allegory to our satisfaction regardless of how hard we tried– and we did try over multiple cups of tea–using all our critical thinking skills, which I now think we probably had none. Because we were in invisible chains since birth in the dark cave that had no appetite for questioning, the allegory of the cave flew right above our heads. We were figuratively the people in the cave literally taking shadows for real. Of course, we did not have the head to comprehend the complexity because we swallowed everything people put in our plates since kindergarten, downloading everything built for us without a question. The reality imposed on us by Plato was too bright for our eyes.
He was a teacher– I now understand that he was much more than that– he was my mentor, my guide, my navigator, my role model, and a close confidant. A figure, lean and thin, fresh out of university, who basically dressed the same and wore the same shoes, carried the same bag, and wore the same smirk–for reasons we did not understand. I still call him Gurudev– Guru is the teacher and Dev literally means God in Sanskrit – the respect provided to a teacher in our culture influenced by Sanskrit language and cultural practices still alive in this age of neo-liberal capitalism. Gurudev showed me and my friends the value of questioning, doubting, dissecting and introspecting everything. And when lost, he was always there to help us navigate the complexities of the philosophical world. We could walk to his office, a news room of an English Daily any time– with or without prior notice. I often think of ‘Allegory of the Cave’ as a philosophical solace from a mentee to a mentor who was very much aware of the world around him where he lost his mentor Socrates to the darkness dwellers. Probably the reason it is so powerful and relevant even today that it influences every genre in the present-day world. Yes, the world of darkness could be illuminated by the sunlight if you dare to venture out. Plato was talking about a metaphorical journey from ignorance to enlightenment– underscoring the role of his mentor. Of course, the return to the cave with a desire to inform and liberate other cave dwellers did not go that great for his mentor. But, without that return, the journey of this enlightenment for Plato could have been very different. If Plato needed a mentor, everyone probably needs one regardless of whether you identify them as mentors or not. In my case he was an English Teacher. In your case it could be a neighbor, a football coach, your own cousin or a mentor in the community identified and matched as per your need. But all of them have few key things in common– they listen to you, without judgment they deeply care about you, without a doubt. They have a desire to lead you away from the darkness into the bright light. This is exactly why they are often the first people you remember in crisis. Mentors are great for everyone. Especially during transitions. All transitions are harder. But they are harder when you don’t have a mentor.
People often ask me what makes a great mentor? There are many. But the most important one I believe is the willingness to spend your valuable time listening to someone without being judgmental. Whenever I think of a good mentor, I visualize my own. He used to say: ‘I don’t know about that but let’s find it out.’ A teacher saying ‘I don’t know’ was a departure from the norm. It was shocking for us to hear that. He was calm, cool and composed. He was Caring, Consistent, and Compassionate. These adjectives that have become my mantra for finding a good mentor at work now were carved by my mentor– in action then. No one can be a good mentor overnight. It takes time, passion, character, and a commitment. Are you ready to be a mentor–the real light for someone?
Mukesh Baral is a Co-Founder and Executive Director at Advocacy for Refugee and Immigrant Services for Empowerment (ARISE) and lives with his family in Massachusetts. He can be reached at [email protected]
Comment